This moment I am dizzy with love. Radiant with the warmth that rises up the left side of your sternum, lumps into your throat a bit, then even as you try to gulp it down so feverishly, it oozes out, melting down a bit of your lachrymal glands in the process. And whatever be your degrees of carnality (I guess I coined this word just now), hedonism, testosteronism/ progesteronism (here I go on the 'coin word sound cool' trip again ), stoicism or pragmatism, you just feel so hopelessly mushy. I am just thankful to have been so stupid in love, so many times, and still not losing the touch. That I can share poetry, burgers, bitchy gossips, kisses, dreams, hugs with someone and knowing that I would be able to do so for the rest of my life. Knowing that I will age holding hands, fighting, desperately wanting to change 'that' thing in her, and secretly hoping she does not, because 'that' is what makes her HER. That I might not be the rich, successful person in life, but that am already rich, successful in love and that more than makes up. It just gives me goosebumps to be not so pretentiously macho, opinionated, prevaricating, whimpering for a certain small parts of the day (when she calls or mails or texts or we meet or I just wish she was with me or dream that she is with me). That on those certain parts I get to train as the Care-Giver rather than the Better Rat. That in spite of those sarcastic snides to that guy from Dil Chahta Hai (Sonali Kulkarni's anniversary-obsessed boyfriend who doesn't get the gal), I still love celebrating those 'This-day-that-year we first voice chatted', 'This-day-last-week you first called me a dog' or 'This-second-last-hour you said you love me' moments. That I still shave in a month, take off sweaty shirts for fresher ones, try not to stare at other girls too much for a certain itsy bitsy baby of a BIG GIRL. I am just damn fortunate that I got pulled out of a rut, got all decked up and got injected with a few vials of life-serum.
To whoever it is who makes us do things that we do, I am just thankful that I got to do a few things right.
And HOW!!!!!!!!!!!
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